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Both of you made me Lost ................ Are you on a mission?

I am looking everyday at my phone, waiting for your phone call to speak to you again, would only realize after a moment that it’s never going to happen.

During lunch I always look at the chair, you were sitting to have our decisive talks, realizing that I am not going to have it again is shattering me.

I miss speaking to you again while having a ride on the bike to markets. During our last ride I still remember that when I expressed of moving to a new company, you asked me to stabilize and then wait for 6 months at least. Now, I promise to try my best to hold there.

These all exact patterns happened with father too.......(Before his diagnosis)

Honestly, I never felt orphaned till date even after losing nana, I always have you then. I am literally having this feeling now, I really don’t know why….…. I am really lost, you both shouldn’t have left me early. I am trying very very hard by running away / staying away from home, but I couldn’t process it.

I already lost 50% of my courage when I lost him, now I lost the rest 50%. I am really not sure, why both of you are in so hurry to leave from here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are you on a mission?

I am questioning you now with a small hope that you would find these questions in some form and give me back solutions in some form or other.

You already know that I shed tears even today after taking him away from me. Now, Are you a mission to make me shed those tears uncontrollably, as you already took another one. So, you took away 2 most cared people, whom I respected a lot. The worst part is you made me in such a way that you want me to express anything in insolation, so only you can know it --------Why are you doing it?

Are you a mission to take away everyone whom I am being close to. If that’s the mission, provide me a hint, I would start practicing to stay detached ?

Will you take care of me now? In what form you would now?

What’s your mission to teach me. I don’t even have 1% energy left with me now to face all these. I don’t understand few things that, why did you made me pray to take him away from me. why did you even made me as a emotionally attached person, you should have made me like a rock, if you want me to face all these.

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